IC: @victory_road Pokégear inbox
Dec. 8th, 2020 01:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bestswordmasterSylvain said I needed to record something to tell you to leave a message, even though if you're bothering to message me in the first place you already know what you're supposed to do, so this is pointless. So...leave a message, I guess. Maybe I'll get back to you. Maybe I won't.
[beep]
[beep]
no subject
Date: 2021-02-16 05:58 am (UTC)idk.
soon I guess.
I'm training.
no subject
Date: 2021-02-16 06:35 am (UTC)any preferences on food?
no subject
Date: 2021-02-16 06:44 am (UTC)whatever you want is fine.
no subject
Date: 2021-02-16 06:53 am (UTC)see u soon? :*
no subject
Date: 2021-02-16 07:09 am (UTC)[A few seconds later:]
❤
[And then a few minutes later:]
sylvain do you
you know I
fuck.
I don't know how to say this.
of COURSE I would respect you no matter what you did.
no subject
Date: 2021-02-16 07:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-16 07:22 am (UTC)no.
yesterday those stupid little messenger pokemon gave me something I know came from you.
you think I'd lose respect for you if you never wanted to fight again.
I WISH you never had to fight again.
no subject
Date: 2021-02-16 08:06 am (UTC)Okay.
no subject
Date: 2021-02-16 08:40 am (UTC)what do you mean okay?
why would you think such a thing in the first place?
you thought I would criticize you anonymously over the network too.
is that really how you think I see you?
sylvain you're brilliant.
and maybe your father thinks you're only meant for battle
but that's horseshit.
the world will need you after the war.
to fix things.
I don't
can I call you
please.
no subject
Date: 2021-02-16 09:00 am (UTC)I don't want to go back Felix.
What if we don't remember any of this?
And I go back to being the same asshole and
I don't remember Grant or Chip or anyone that mattered here.
But I have to. I have to keep fighting because if I don't, I'll just die on the battlefield and disappoint you.
And I have to keep traveling because if I don't I'll disappoint Dimitri
I'm still doing what other people want me to do.
no subject
Date: 2021-02-16 09:19 am (UTC)is that how you think I would feel if you died?
[Then very quickly, a line at a time:]
fuck.
I'm sorry.
I'm not angry.
I don't hound you about training because I would be disappointed if you didn't fight.
I do it because we're already fighting and
it's all I know how to do.
and I don't want
I can't lose you.
I don't know how else to make sure that doesn't happen.
but even that doesn't work
because glenn and my old man were stronger than any of us
so
maybe the only way to do it really is to stay here.
[And then a minute later:]
You didn't tell me you don't want to keep traveling.
no subject
Date: 2021-02-16 09:24 am (UTC)I'm not being fair.
I know it would be more than disappointment.
And I know I have to keep fighting because
that's our promise, right? And I can't keep it if I
Well. You know.
I'm just tired. I marched and fought and fought and marched for 5 years.
And it keeps snowing. I feel like a burden every time it does.
But Chip wants to keep going, and Dimitri won't want us separated.
So it's fine.
no subject
Date: 2021-02-16 09:45 am (UTC)I mean
it isn't fine.
and that isn't our promise.
the point is to live as long as we can.
together.
if the only way to do that is not to fight
then don't fight.
you're more important to me than any battle, sylvain.
you're NOT a burden.
and winter doesn't last as long here.
once it's over we'll have months to figure this out.
I talked to dimitri about finding a place for all of us.
that we can return to.
and if you want to stay there
then we'll come back by warp whenever we reach a town.
don't just give up because you think everyone else's wants are more important than yours.
they're NOT.
no subject
Date: 2021-02-16 09:55 am (UTC)Maybe eventually.
But not now.
I don't want to go back out on the road.
no subject
Date: 2021-02-16 10:01 am (UTC)then we'll find a place now.
to hell with dimitri's excuses.
no subject
Date: 2021-02-16 10:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-16 10:10 am (UTC)this is what I wanted too.
to find a place, I mean.
whether you travel or not.
maybe whatever we find now won't be permanent but
it will be ours.
oh.
I was supposed to tell you
when I gave you the ring
but I forgot in all the absurdity.
you've never really had a true home.
because of
everything.
so
I want to give that to you.
maybe this is how I begin.
no subject
Date: 2021-02-16 10:36 am (UTC)Okay don't come home yet my face is all wet and I'm embarrassed.
... I love you.
no subject
Date: 2021-02-16 10:58 am (UTC)what was that, sylvain?
I couldn’t hear you over the sound of me rushing back as fast as I can.
I love you too.
😸