I don't need to make promises because I'm sappy enough to keep them! And you're the one leaving. What am I going to do if I go with you? I hate travelling. You're going to complain about me all the time.
And it's not just a matter of making up for the ones we've lost. [ that feels hurtful, actually, but it's childish to tell that to felix. ] I want something for myself; is that such a bad thing?
[felix glances up, makes brief eye contact with sylvain, then looks away.]
You're right, you are a sap. I'm sure I'll complain about you all the time either way.
[but sylvain is right. felix frowns.]
...no, it isn't. It's about time you wanted something for yourself, actually. And at least if you stay here, I won't have to worry about your shoddy training habits getting you killed trying to protect me.
.... can I negotiate for it to be twice a month, especially when there are special occasions?
Like birthdays, festivals, and so on.
[ he's really pushing it. anyway - ] What if in the interests of showing off my shoddy training habits, I get injured. You'll need to be there to stop me.
[it's exasperation and a warning rolled into one.]
You know it takes weeks to get anywhere in the first place. And what the hell would you be doing to get injured in your house full of annoying little brats?
[felix wants to be stubborn. he's made up his mind, he doesn't need sylvain making him second-guess himself. but...
Tch. Already anticipating going that soft, are you?
[he shakes his head, but there's no actual bite to it.
speaking of going soft...what is he supposed to do with this declaration of sylvain's? felix is pathetic - not fifteen minutes after he resolved to empty himself out and leave it all behind in that hole in the ground, and here he is feeling...grateful.
his face pinches and his head bows. he's not stupid enough to ask 'why;' he knows why.]
I...ugh. I don't know. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to...wait a little while. Just to see what comes of all this mindless bloodshed. And then...
[he can't promise to stay, much as he's spent an awful lot of his life making promises to sylvain, because he's also spent all that time keeping them. then again...if he does leave, he will be breaking one, won't he? the most important one.]
[ in higher spirits than before, sylvain proclaims it like felix has promised him the world. it's nothing close to it of course. it's just that felix has promised him the most important thing, which means that whatever comes to them to the end of this war, he can bear with it - because there is a possibility of something better and brighter after it. a family. some chance to love. felix, remaining.
and because it's a night of ridiculous, childish sentiment, felix is going to be hugged. and nobody else does it better than sylvain, who gives nice, firm, warm hugs. even in armor. ]
[it's not settled, felix wants to argue. he said 'we'll see,' that doesn't mean--
but regardless of what he said or meant, sylvain must have heard echoes of a promise in it. felix lifts his head to say something and ends up blinking, startled at the sudden manhandling.]
Sylvain, what--
[he tenses at first - nobody's hugged him, or even really touched him much off the battlefield, in a long time. but much as felix wouldn't admit it aloud, sylvain does give the best hugs, and always has.
even in armor.
felix also wouldn't admit that maybe he needed this tonight. with a resigned sigh, he lifts his arms to wrap them around his best friend, with more gratitude in it than he otherwise knows how to express. does sylvain really mean it when he says he's happy? 'happy' sounds like some distant fairy tale, but here they are, and perhaps happiness isn't the zero sum game it often seems.
he closes his eyes, letting himself have this moment of comfort, just for now.]
[ he'd probably be dead if felix wasn't here, if he was being honest. he can't count the number of times he'd been rescued by sylvain in situations where he could've died or something could've gone worse.
he lets go of him after a while, sylvain smiling at him genially. ]
[the truth is, sylvain's protected him on the battlefield many times, too. too many times for felix's liking.
maybe it really is better if sylvain stops fighting after the war ends. finds something else to live for.
felix isn't sure he can find the same. but sylvain seems to have pried another promise out of him, somehow. so there's that, he supposes. that, and seeing a smile this genuine on his face.]
All right, that's enough. We'd better get back before we both catch pneumonia. Or you hug me again.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2021-07-28 11:46 pm (UTC)And it's not just a matter of making up for the ones we've lost. [ that feels hurtful, actually, but it's childish to tell that to felix. ] I want something for myself; is that such a bad thing?
no subject
Date: 2021-07-29 03:22 am (UTC)You're right, you are a sap. I'm sure I'll complain about you all the time either way.
[but sylvain is right. felix frowns.]
...no, it isn't. It's about time you wanted something for yourself, actually. And at least if you stay here, I won't have to worry about your shoddy training habits getting you killed trying to protect me.
[he sighs.]
Fine. I promise. Once a month. Happy now?
no subject
Date: 2021-08-01 02:23 am (UTC)Like birthdays, festivals, and so on.
[ he's really pushing it. anyway - ] What if in the interests of showing off my shoddy training habits, I get injured. You'll need to be there to stop me.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-01 06:39 am (UTC)[it's exasperation and a warning rolled into one.]
You know it takes weeks to get anywhere in the first place. And what the hell would you be doing to get injured in your house full of annoying little brats?
[felix wants to be stubborn. he's made up his mind, he doesn't need sylvain making him second-guess himself. but...
his voice lowers.]
You really want me to stay that badly, huh.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-01 05:20 pm (UTC)[ what is that question? sylvain folds his arms over his chest, looking at him seriously. ]
... of course I do.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-02 08:02 am (UTC)[he shakes his head, but there's no actual bite to it.
speaking of going soft...what is he supposed to do with this declaration of sylvain's? felix is pathetic - not fifteen minutes after he resolved to empty himself out and leave it all behind in that hole in the ground, and here he is feeling...grateful.
his face pinches and his head bows. he's not stupid enough to ask 'why;' he knows why.]
I...ugh. I don't know. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to...wait a little while. Just to see what comes of all this mindless bloodshed. And then...
[he can't promise to stay, much as he's spent an awful lot of his life making promises to sylvain, because he's also spent all that time keeping them. then again...if he does leave, he will be breaking one, won't he? the most important one.]
...then we'll see.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-02 09:15 pm (UTC)[ in higher spirits than before, sylvain proclaims it like felix has promised him the world. it's nothing close to it of course. it's just that felix has promised him the most important thing, which means that whatever comes to them to the end of this war, he can bear with it - because there is a possibility of something better and brighter after it. a family. some chance to love. felix, remaining.
and because it's a night of ridiculous, childish sentiment, felix is going to be hugged. and nobody else does it better than sylvain, who gives nice, firm, warm hugs. even in armor. ]
I'm so happy.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-05 06:09 am (UTC)but regardless of what he said or meant, sylvain must have heard echoes of a promise in it. felix lifts his head to say something and ends up blinking, startled at the sudden manhandling.]
Sylvain, what--
[he tenses at first - nobody's hugged him, or even really touched him much off the battlefield, in a long time. but much as felix wouldn't admit it aloud, sylvain does give the best hugs, and always has.
even in armor.
felix also wouldn't admit that maybe he needed this tonight. with a resigned sigh, he lifts his arms to wrap them around his best friend, with more gratitude in it than he otherwise knows how to express. does sylvain really mean it when he says he's happy? 'happy' sounds like some distant fairy tale, but here they are, and perhaps happiness isn't the zero sum game it often seems.
he closes his eyes, letting himself have this moment of comfort, just for now.]
You're an incurable fool, is what you are.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-08 04:19 pm (UTC)[ he'd probably be dead if felix wasn't here, if he was being honest. he can't count the number of times he'd been rescued by sylvain in situations where he could've died or something could've gone worse.
he lets go of him after a while, sylvain smiling at him genially. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-08-08 11:11 pm (UTC)[the truth is, sylvain's protected him on the battlefield many times, too. too many times for felix's liking.
maybe it really is better if sylvain stops fighting after the war ends. finds something else to live for.
felix isn't sure he can find the same. but sylvain seems to have pried another promise out of him, somehow. so there's that, he supposes. that, and seeing a smile this genuine on his face.]
All right, that's enough. We'd better get back before we both catch pneumonia. Or you hug me again.