[Felix is a little surprised to see a letter in the first place, much less such a long one. There's no way Sylvain could have known ahead of time what would happen. But of course, Sylvain anticipated that surprise and explained it right away.
So he reads, and he reads, and when he gets to the end he goes back to the top and reads again.
It may have been intended for Felix to carry as a reminder while traveling, but it's serving perfectly well even now when he's not going anywhere at all. Hope for the future...will Sylvain still feel that way when he comes back? Or will he not even need hope anymore because he's seen the future already?
But if Felix could give him hope once, he can do it again. Seeing that this is all Sylvain ever wanted...it's almost enough to soothe the ache of having little purpose to his life beyond existing, here. He could live with it, he thinks, if his only purpose was to work to give Sylvain happiness.
The further he reads, the harder it gets to see the page properly--dammit. He wipes at his eyes with his sleeve, not wanting to risk tears dripping onto the paper and smudging the ink. For once, Felix thinks he'd give anything to let Sylvain see him cry this time and tease him about blushing over words that seem to fill him up and spill over like boiling water. But...
But he is smiling, for real, for the first time in days. And, despite knowing it's exactly what Sylvain would have wanted him to do, he does take the time to bring the paper to his nose and close his eyes to smell the cologne.
It's hard for Felix to truly comprehend what Sylvain's thanking him for. He knows because this letter explains it, but his heart still thinks it ought to be him thanking Sylvain instead. Felix has tried hard, but he knows that sometimes he says exactly the wrong thing, and sometimes he loses his patience at exactly the wrong time, and sometimes he doesn't show his love the way he should. But Sylvain has always been there anyway, even when Felix was at his absolute worst.
And... Sylvain Fraldarius. Even though he was the one to have it inscribed on the ring, Felix isn't expecting that here in the letter. After reading it twice all the way through, he sets it down and scrubs at his eyes; the tears keep falling mercilessly despite his best efforts, but they're not all sorrowful ones. He sniffles quietly and looks at Inda.]
I don't...think I've ever said so out loud, but. I love you, Inda. I'm no good at expressing it. Sorry about that.
[As much as it hurts to have to read this while Sylvain is gone, it also...helps. He doesn't feel quite as far away as he did just a few minutes ago. Once you wake me up, the letter says, and it sounds like a promise that he will wake.
So he sets the bag aside, too, for now. He gently cups Sylvain's cheek in his palm and leans down to kiss him--their Sleeping Beauty, ha. 'Aw, Fe, how sweet! I mean, I am the fairest one of all, so it's definitely accurate, but it's nice to hear you say it. ;)' That's a different story altogether, mind-Sylvain. But that's okay.
Felix pulls back and lies down, pillowing his head on Sylvain's shoulder and draping one arm around both his chest and Inda at once, and he lets himself cry for once. And some of these tears are sad, yes; but some of them are happy. Sylvain will be back, and no matter what he's gone through, he will always belong right here. Felix's fool.
...he'll look at the rest of the gifts when he can stop bawling like a child, he decides.]
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2021-02-21 01:19 am (UTC)So he reads, and he reads, and when he gets to the end he goes back to the top and reads again.
It may have been intended for Felix to carry as a reminder while traveling, but it's serving perfectly well even now when he's not going anywhere at all. Hope for the future...will Sylvain still feel that way when he comes back? Or will he not even need hope anymore because he's seen the future already?
But if Felix could give him hope once, he can do it again. Seeing that this is all Sylvain ever wanted...it's almost enough to soothe the ache of having little purpose to his life beyond existing, here. He could live with it, he thinks, if his only purpose was to work to give Sylvain happiness.
The further he reads, the harder it gets to see the page properly--dammit. He wipes at his eyes with his sleeve, not wanting to risk tears dripping onto the paper and smudging the ink. For once, Felix thinks he'd give anything to let Sylvain see him cry this time and tease him about blushing over words that seem to fill him up and spill over like boiling water. But...
But he is smiling, for real, for the first time in days. And, despite knowing it's exactly what Sylvain would have wanted him to do, he does take the time to bring the paper to his nose and close his eyes to smell the cologne.
It's hard for Felix to truly comprehend what Sylvain's thanking him for. He knows because this letter explains it, but his heart still thinks it ought to be him thanking Sylvain instead. Felix has tried hard, but he knows that sometimes he says exactly the wrong thing, and sometimes he loses his patience at exactly the wrong time, and sometimes he doesn't show his love the way he should. But Sylvain has always been there anyway, even when Felix was at his absolute worst.
And... Sylvain Fraldarius. Even though he was the one to have it inscribed on the ring, Felix isn't expecting that here in the letter. After reading it twice all the way through, he sets it down and scrubs at his eyes; the tears keep falling mercilessly despite his best efforts, but they're not all sorrowful ones. He sniffles quietly and looks at Inda.]
I don't...think I've ever said so out loud, but. I love you, Inda. I'm no good at expressing it. Sorry about that.
[As much as it hurts to have to read this while Sylvain is gone, it also...helps. He doesn't feel quite as far away as he did just a few minutes ago. Once you wake me up, the letter says, and it sounds like a promise that he will wake.
So he sets the bag aside, too, for now. He gently cups Sylvain's cheek in his palm and leans down to kiss him--their Sleeping Beauty, ha. 'Aw, Fe, how sweet! I mean, I am the fairest one of all, so it's definitely accurate, but it's nice to hear you say it. ;)' That's a different story altogether, mind-Sylvain. But that's okay.
Felix pulls back and lies down, pillowing his head on Sylvain's shoulder and draping one arm around both his chest and Inda at once, and he lets himself cry for once. And some of these tears are sad, yes; but some of them are happy. Sylvain will be back, and no matter what he's gone through, he will always belong right here. Felix's fool.
...he'll look at the rest of the gifts when he can stop bawling like a child, he decides.]